It is hard to believe that it has been two years. May 14, 2007, at only 7 weeks, we lost our 3rd child. Those weeks were some of the hardest of my life. Without my husband, my Mom & Sister, and a handful of friends I would not have been able to survive. Honestly I was not ready to talk to God about it. I was so mad. Why did he let this happen? Why did it have to hurt so bad? Why me? Who was this baby? A boy, a girl? Why?
My sister kept telling me that the tears will come for a long time, and each time it will hurt less and less. I did not believe her. How could this hurt get less? But, she was right. It took a while, but I feel like a whole person again. God has healed the wound to my heart. Will I forget our baby? No. Do I still wonder what life would be like with a 6 year old, 3 year old and 18 month old? Yes I do. I even sometimes feel like our family is missing someone. But I can honestly say that I am not angry anymore.
I look forward to the day when I reach heaven and I get to meet my little baby. Thank you God for watching over me, even in my dark days, even when I couldn’t talk to you. Thanks for being there, even when I was angry.