It is hard to believe that it has been two years.  May 14, 2007, at only 7 weeks, we lost our 3rd child.  Those weeks were some of the hardest of my life.  Without my husband, my Mom & Sister, and a handful of friends I would not have been able to survive.  Honestly I was not ready to talk to God about it.  I was so mad.  Why did he let this happen?  Why did it have to hurt so bad?  Why me?  Who was this baby?  A boy, a girl?  Why?

My sister kept telling me that the tears will come for a long time, and each time it will hurt less and less.  I did not believe her.  How could this hurt get less?  But, she was right.  It took a while, but I feel like a whole person again.  God has healed the wound to my heart.  Will I forget our baby?  No.  Do I still wonder what life would be like with a 6 year old, 3 year old and 18 month old?  Yes I do.  I even sometimes feel like our family is missing someone.  But I can honestly say that I am not angry anymore.

I look forward to the day when I reach heaven and I get to meet my little baby.  Thank you God for watching over me, even in my dark days, even when I couldn’t talk to you.  Thanks for being there, even when I was angry.